Anna Gordon's story
We moved to New Zealand almost 10 years ago from the UK. My husband Troy is a New Zealander who had been in the UK for six years and was keen to return home. I was really happy to move, and keen to try another country. However, I did struggle with leaving connections behind – so I decided that my mum and my cat would have to come too!
Our family is small and close. There is only me and with my brother living in Australia, I knew I couldn't leave my mother alone in London. Troy and I arrived in New Zealand first, with our cat, and then mum arrived three months later.
It was easy for me to gain residency through Troy as at that stage we could prove a de facto relationship of six years. Mum qualified for a visa through my residence. Because half or more of her offspring was in New Zealand (one out of two), she was eligible to apply. Her pension was directly transferable from the UK to here so it could just get paid into her New Zealand bank account.
On reflection I think it would have been a good idea to wait a wee while longer before we brought Mum out. We needed to take some time to feel settled on our own, and we didn't get that. I think it probably took me two years to feel settled in New Zealand, and I think if I hadn't been so focused on Mum that may have taken less time.
If you are up-rooting older parents then you need to be prepared to spend a lot of time with them initially, helping them build new networks. It's harder for them to do it on their own and, as most people of their age already have their networks and friendships, they often don't want any new friends. You have to be prepared to think of everything for them – they are so dependent on you to start with – and it's important that they live relatively near to you.
It took a good few years for Mum to build any friendships. She did lots of volunteer work to start with which really helped. Now we all feel settled with her over here. She is a frequent visitor at our house and loves having time with her granddaughter. That makes the move worth it.
Anna Gordon
(Pictured with her mother and brother.)